The Power of Permission
Did you know that it’s okay to eat? It’s okay to eat cookies and cupcakes and bread. It’s okay to have a hamburger, steak, and tofu. Food is available, it’s okay. You have permission to eat. In fact, not only do you have permission, you need to eat to stay alive. Eating is actually a necessary requirement for living.
Wondering why we have such a problem with it?
Well, all of the foods that I listed above are often placed on a restricted list or connected with shame. They are foods that many of us try to limit and also the foods most likely to start a binge. Why? Because they’re forbidden. Despite all the headway we’ve made with ridding ourselves of restrictions, this has been the hardest change to make in regards to our beliefs surrounding food. We have ascribed morality to food and look at certain things as good and others as bad. You are therefore considered good if you get a salad with dressing on the side and bad if you have a hamburger and french fries. Even if you have found your own freedom from this belief system, other’s love to apply their limiting thoughts to you. Regardless of who I’m with, if I order a burger and fries, someone will mention the decadence. Perhaps it is. However, I’ve learned that I would rather have a burger and fries if I want it, eat until I’m full, and then stop and enjoy feeling satisfied. I’ve journeyed through my own disordered eating, long enough to know that if I order a salad that I don’t want, I’ll eat beyond my full, and then go home and look for a treat to wash it down. It’s better over all for me to just order what I really want the first time. Be present with my food, enjoy the flavors, and stop when I’m full.
This is permissive eating and it is a powerful tool in your guide to health and wellness. It focuses on listening to what your body wants and ordering accordingly.
I ate out about a month ago and since all dining is currently held outside, I sat at a hightop table with a cold salad and a glass of water. I was freezing. It was only 60 degrees, but where I’m from in California, that’s arctic weather. I was shaking I was so cold. I wasn’t present with my food, ate beyond my full level, and spent the entire lunch disappointed and unsatisfied. The next time I met a friend for lunch, I ordered a cup of soup and a hot cup of tea. I was a thousand times more satisfied and nurtured. Sometimes it’s more than just your cravings, it’s the weather, the company, and your needs are rolled into one. If you’re not enjoying the people you’re with it will play into your delight with your meal. If you hang all of your meals on this one eating experience, you’ll overdo it and look for more food later in the day.
Give yourself permission to eat. Ask yourself what you really want. Travel that thought for a moment. If you could have anything, what would it be? I remember that I used to obsess about donuts. They were so forbidden, I always wanted them, but never let myself have them. The rare occasions that I would indulge, I couldn’t hold back the inner beast and I would eat until I became sick. It wasn’t until I allowed myself to have donuts whenever I wanted that I realize I don’t actually like donuts all that much.
If you have just enjoyed all the food over the holidays and are thinking you massively lack self control and need to remove whole food groups from your diet, I want to caution you. Restriction creates disordered thinking surrounding food and causes huge gaps in your health. Rather than take out, practice adding in. There are some great tips and tools that I have that can help you conquer your cravings for good and build a healthy relationship with food. I would love to partner with you! Fill out the contact form, shoot me a text, or give me a call. Your journey is just beginning.
